The Broken Shard
by Katreal
Summary: Haku completed his duty long ago-but what is left for a guardian spirit without something to protect? Companion to "Follow the Stepping Stones"


**The Broken Shard**

Disclaimer: I own nothing except for the words that tell this tale.

Note: This is a companion piece to "Follow the Stepping Stones," a FFVII: Crisis Core multi crossover. It may not make sense without knowledge of the larger story.

_A tiny hand curled around a small red shard, holding it up to catch the light filtering down through the cavern opening. It sparkled. Embers rekindled within the small stone._

_Mom didn't use red materia…but it's so pretty…_

_A surprise._

He_ could make the necklace _for_ her. A present. _

_The small child grinned in excitement, slipping the red shard into his pocket and hefting the small basket of other colors—blue, green, yellow, purple. _

_Everything…but red._

_That one…was a secret._

x-x-x

Something…was calling him.

Haku stopped in mid-step, tuning out the chattering of the bathhouse worker who had been walking with him. Something. Something familiar, tugging at him.

_Chihiro…?_

He'd promised her…if she called, he would answer.

But she never did. Only once had he seen her since she'd recovered his name. A moonlit night on the edge of what had once been a river, but was now a forest of concrete and glass. An old wizened face—only then had Haku realized the true danger of loving a mortal. Time did not move in the Spirit World. Not at the same rate. She had left his world as a child. He'd returned to hers in time to see her die.

No. It was only wistful thinking that brought her memory to his mind.

"Oi. Haku. Are you even _listening_ to me?_ Nigihayami Kohaku nushi_!"

The use of his full name jerked him out of his thoughts, and he blinked to find the long face of Rin looking down at him. She had that stubborn set to her jaw, one he'd recognized over centuries of friendship. He didn't spend much time in the Bath House these days—too many memories.

And she was one of a handful who shared them with him. Memories of a bright, gap toothed smile.

"I'm…sorry Rin." He put a hand to his forehead, threading his fingers through olive green strands of hair. A light breeze danced through the open window, tugging at his hair. Had that been it? Was that the source of the nagging feeling? The endless ocean sparkled in the sun, but there wasn't a wave to break the mirror-smooth reflection of the sky. Even the train tracks were fully submerged.

Shaking his head, he turned away, observing the hallway briefly before locking eyes with the still frowning bath house attendant. They were alone. "Where's…" He searched for the name of the attendant he'd been walking with. It hadn't been Rin. Rin was supposed to be on cleaning duty right now, in preparation for the night's business. The sleeves and pants of her working clothes were even tied up and damp from moisture, "…Ayame?"

"She came to get me, you forgetful lizard." Rin scolded him, "She said you kinda froze up, staring out the window and wouldn't respond to her. You still look kind of out of it. Are you sick? Do I need to take you to Yubaba?"

Haku blanched, shaking his head quickly. He and Yubaba were on decent enough terms, despite the circumstances surrounding Haku's…departure from her employ, but that was only a recent development. He'd had to hide out at Zeniba's for some time after, just to let Yubaba cool down for a while. She did not like losing one of her more powerful servants and because of a human _child_ no less.

"I…I will be fine, Rin. I promise." He smiled, even as her answering frown told her that she didn't believe him, "Just memories."

"_Oh."_

Her answer was hushed, as it always was whenever Chihiro—Sen's ghost rose between them. Rin had firmly denied the news of her "little sister's" death, at first. Spirits did not die. Not in the same final way humans did. Haku hadn't even told many about it—but he'd felt he'd owed it to Rin. She'd been the one to find him afterwards, roaring his grief to the thunderous sky, braving a sea tossed by the magic of a grieving dragon. In nothing more than that rickety old bucket of a boat.

Many in the Bath House still held him on a pedestal—once for being their superior, and later for escaping Yubaba's employment contracts. Once he'd reclaimed his name and title, he'd become an "honored guest" with all the bowing and scraping afforded to one of his ranking. River Gods were powerful—even those who had been displaced.

Rin and Yubaba were the only ones who remembered _him._ And that night, Yubaba had only cared that his "tantrum" was interrupting normal business hours.

_She's gone…_

His anguished roar echoed through time. Through memories. Time had dulled the pain, but he would never forget the girl he'd rescued from the river, who would later rescue him from himself.

"She wouldn't want you moping about it, you know." Rin spoke up, dredging up the strength to straighten herself and put her hands on her hips, "I may have only known her for a few days, but she would have wanted to be sunshine. Not the rain."

Days that had felt like a lifetime, as all things in the spirit world did. A long, wonderful dream.

"Of course. " Haku conceded, deciding it best to drop the subject. It _was _an old wound. "I just…thought I heard my name."

And who else would be calling him?

"Of course you did! I had to yell it at you! C'mon. I think _you_ need a nice relaxing bath before we end up with another storm. There's a tub that could use a good rinse, and yeah, Yubaba will grumble, but she knows better than to make a river god unhappy." She winked at him, and grabbed him by the hand, tugging him down the hallway. Haku sighed and let her, trying to ignore the whisper on the wind.

x-x-x

Haku sighed and slid into the water—his humanoid form slipping away to coils of white scales. He let himself sink into the warmth. He could vaguely hear Rin shouting for one of the herbal mixtures, but his vision was obscured by a thick veil of steam. There was nothing else. Nothing beyond him and the water.

Nothing…except the tugging. The whisper. The _call_.

It felt familiar. Oh so familiar. The more he studied it, the more he was certain that it was _old._ Not quite…older than Chihiro. No. About the same time.

It was hard to count the passage of time in the Spirit World. It had days, where the bath house was quiet. And then there were the nights, when everything came _alive._

But beyond that…days melted into weeks and years vanished in the blink of an eye. He couldn't tell how long it had been since Chihiro…called him. That last night.

His life was a series of milestones. His birth. That moment when a human first snatched a drink from his river. Settlements. Growth. Trade. And then eventually…a small girl fell in, and he couldn't bear to let her drown as he had so many others.

And then…pain. And drifting. He'd only been able to watch helplessly as the bright yellow construction equipment rolled onwards, uncaring of the howling gale he'd whipped up to stop them. Spirits could not touch the mortal world. Not directly. Not unless they believed.

He'd spent eternity bound to that river. To be free of it…

He'd needed _something._ Something to bind the wound and give him stability.

_She'd _reached for him then. Golden hair, golden armor, and white robes. Eyes and green as new leaves.

"_Do you seek a contract, Kohaku nushi?"_

A red stone, cupped in gauntleted hands.

"_Stability for service." _

It hadn't lasted.

He'd watched as the Oathstone shattered. Life draining from the one he'd been charged to protect. He'd been forced to watch her eyes grow dim and dull before he was jerked across time and space, back to his world. Back to his pain. Bringing with him another failure.

He'd gone to the Bath House then. Yubaba the witch. Collector of Names. She would be able to take it all away.

"_What's this?" _Yubaba's aged voice rang in his ears, _"You come to me seeking employment? When you are already bound to something larger than I? Do you think me a fool, boy?"_

"_It's…nothing of consequence. A remnant. Take my name, and I shall be yours."_

With the oathstone shattered…it wouldn't matter anymore.

"_Hmph. Nothing can break an agreement like that. But I see the truth of your words. It is bound to your name. Once I take _that…"

Running water pounded against his back, a sudden rush of warmth wrapping around his coiled body as Rin finally put in the order for more water. He felt the tension drift away, lost in the comforting haze. He didn't surface. He didn't need to. He _was_ a river. He could breathe water just as well as air.

Yubaba had taken it all away. His name. His memories. His failures. His pain.

Until Chihiro had given it back.

Perhaps that was why it had _hurt_ so much to watch Chihiro die that night. She hadn't been the first he had lost. Her brown hair was greying. Face wrinkled. Hands knobby. She'd just sat there, long into the night, on the concrete step that had once been a river bank.

_Kohaku…_

He hadn't been able to do anything. He'd sat with her. Summoned by her whispered plea, unable to touch her. Unable to speak. She couldn't hear him. She was too old. Too far removed from the time and place he still lingered.

"_Kohaku!" The enemy dragon roared. She teetered on the edge of the cliff, backed to the very edge. Kohaku knifed through the air toward her, disengaging from the flock of bird-like demons that were swarming him. They were too fast. Too strong. Like the dragon—something drove them. Something that sent his teeth gnashing. Something slimy and _wrong. _They hunted his charge._

Chihiro began to lean. Eyes closed. She wavered. Breath hitching. Haku moved to support her, to hold her frail frame upright.

_The dragon lunged. Kohaku was almost there. Hundreds of fangs tore through his hide, finding purchase between delicate scales. Claws went for his eyes, forcing him to twist and slow—_

And…she fell. Through his arms. Her head cracked on the concrete. Haku felt the thread connecting him to the Human World fade. Like a dream. It was pulling him back. Snapping, just as her life flickered.

_She fell into the chasm. Just out of claw's reach. The bond cracked. Faded. Shattered, just like her body. Just like the Oathstone, scattering into tiny shards, glittering across the rocky floor of the ravine._

Neither of them would ever call him again.

x-x-x

Haku tried to put it out of his mind, but it dogged at his heels. That familiar nagging sensation followed him as the day shifted to night and the ocean retreated—the adjacent town coming to life as the denizens of the spirit world awakened. Guests would be arriving soon—the Bath House beginning to come to life in a flurry with attendants rushing hither and thither, supervisors shouting orders, and the chefs furiously banging away in their kitchens. Haku retreated from it all, away from the busy show floor and the nosy Rin. She had to have noticed his somber mood after the bath—it was only the fact that she was working that even gave him the space he had at the moment.

He stood in one of the lavish guest rooms on the upper floors, looking out over the black glass of the ocean. The train station was a barely discernable shadow from here, but he was more watching the lights as they wove along the tracks from the nearby town. The customers. They were heading for the bridge. He remembered finding Chihiro there, overwhelmed and lost as the ghostly spirits made their nightly pilgrimage. He could almost imagine he could see her small shadow there now, flickering in the light.

The shadow flickered. Growing taller. Chestnut hair lightened, spinning into dirty blonde.

"If you are going to brood even after an _expensive _herbal soak, I am going to kick your scaled hide out of here before you can say lizard." Yubaba's voice tore his attention away from the phantom, allowing it to fade back into the recesses of his mind. Haku turned, finding the stout woman's frame filling up the door. She glowered at him, hiking her customary blue skirt as she quickly crossed the threshold, "I can sense your melancholy from _upstairs_ for heaven's sake—either snap out of it or go…wherever you go when you aren't skulking around here. I won't have you ruining my business tonight."

"Yubaba." He acknowledged her with a shallow bow. It was not quite as deep as it would have once been, as her contracted employee, but still one that befit the proprietor of an establishment of this size and wealth. "I have no intention of causing you any…inconvenience."

Sometimes it was just too easy to fall back into old habits. Polite speech. Emotions held under an iron grip. They may be on civil terms, but that did not mean they were friends. She tolerated him. He kept out of her hair. Usually. Two of his few friends worked for her, which put him in contact with her more than he'd like.

"You _never_ intend to." She grumbled, "It doesn't mean you won't." Yubaba paused, her eyes narrowing behind her overly large nose. She suddenly surged forward, bouncing on her toes with an air of weightless-ness that did not fit a woman of her stature.

"Oooh…I _know _that face." The words were accompanied by a cackle. Uneasily, Haku tried to draw away, taking a step back. His back came to rest against the window frame. There was no escape. Not unless he shifted and burst out the window. The witch seemed far, far larger than her stout frame actually was.

"…pardon?"

"Yeeeeess. Yes I do. I have not seen that in a _long time." _She hummed with amusement, "Not since you first came to me. _Begging_ me to take away your name. I could do it again, if you like. Work for me, just like old times." She mused, the words causing an angry growl to rise in his throat. He would never give it up again. "But why now? What could hurt you so? It couldn't be that blasted girl—she died over a century ago."

"Her _name_ is Chihiro." Haku found himself growling, and then straightened. A _century? "_And since when do you keep track?"

"Bah. None of us _knew_ Chihiro. She was _Sen. _And of _course _I keep track. Boh _still _asks when his sister will come back." Yubaba snapped, "I can't wait for the day he finally _stops."_

Because she never will. The words echoed unspoken, but they still rang true. Haku turned away.

"I thought you learned your lesson the _first_ time." He couldn't see her expression, but the sneer was evident in her voice. He looked up at the moonless sky; saw the dark clouds billowing in response to his mood. Escape. The sky was his escape.

The window was too narrow for his dragon body to comfortably move through it, but he didn't care right now. Wood splintered around him, Yubaba's shrieks following him as he took to the sky, carried by magic more than wind.

"Just _watch._ You'll fall back into that trap! You wanted your name? Well you _got _it. And everything that comes with it! Everything you tried to run from!"

x-x-x

The swamp was uncomfortable. Magic shivered and scattered across his scales as he plowed through the layers of enchantments surrounding Zeniba's home. Haku felt them quivering, testing him. Even his innate magic resistance would not mean anything if those wards decided that he was a threat.

And…they let him pass. He soared over the old rustic home, knowing that approach would have alerted the old witch inside. Zeniba appeared in the door, peering up into the storm-darkened sky. Her hopping lamppost obediently held an umbrella above her, seeming unconcerned by the thunder rumbling in Haku's wake. She could have easily followed him, wrapping her magic around herself in the form of a bird, but didn't.

Haku aimed for a specific area of the swamp. A deep, dark pool, its normally still surface was studded with raindrops, creating ripples and only grew as he plunged into the cold depths. He curled up on the pond floor, eyes easily piercing the murky depths and the floating silt kicked up by his descent. It was too still. Where was the current? The fish? This was the closest place he had to a home— but it didn't truly feel that way.

He missed his river, submerged in the mud and currents that were as much a part of him as his own heart. His own soul.

That river, that now only existed in his memories. Like everything else he had cared about. The Spirit World never changed.

Haku's world had.

How long he remained, burrowed into the settling silt at the bottom of his lone pool, he wouldn't be able to tell. But soon a probing tendril of magic tickled at his perception, a feather tickling along his scaled hide. Seeking. Searching.

He could feel the presence standing at the edge of his pool. This little piece of _his_ among Zeniba's swamp.

_Kohaku…_

Zeniba's voice reverberated through the water. He twitched—hearing the underlying command in the magical pulse. Zeniba—much like her sister—wasn't used to being denied. She was just more subtle about it.

The pulse came again.

He buried himself in the bottom of the pool, blocking out the witch who waited in the world above.

He just wanted to be alone.

x-x-x

Zeniba pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders, the pitter patter of rain drumming against the umbrella. It was a dreary drizzle now, the storm having passed as Kohaku slipped into an exhausted sleep.

"You foolish dragon…" She murmured, gnarled fingers toying with shimmering purple thread. She turned away, gesturing to the enchanted lamppost to escort her back to her home.

x-x-x

Only Zeniba knew of the spirit who slumbered in the swamp. Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi would fade from the immediate concern of others; the years trundling onward in that same slow unchanging way of the Spirit World. Boh would often ask—when he visited—why she had pulled her favorite rocking chair to the westward window. Why she would sit there long into the evening, a shimmering purple band clasped in her old hands.

A very special charm, it was. The last remaining thing she had of that special little girl who had left their mark on all of them.

"I gave this to you for protection, Sen…" She sighed, old bones creaking as she settled into her chair, "It turns out you weren't the one who needed it."

Forever could be a lonely proposition for a guardian spirit without something to protect.

In the Spirit World, there were no gods, because everyone _was_ a god in some way or another. Even still, she couldn't help the prayer she would send up to the overcast sky.

_Give him a purpose again._

She didn't only ask for his sake. It wasn't just her feeling pity for a lost spirit.

She was just getting tired of the rain.

x-x-x

_Help…_

The word wound through Kohaku's dreams.

_Someone…_

_Anyone…_

_**HELP!**_

That young life, full of fear and desperation reached through shattered bonds. Grey-blue eyes snapped open—instinctively Kohaku reached back.

Fire—but the space was too small—he was cramped. He couldn't move. Where was he—why was he here-? Where was—

Red light, drawing his gaze, stabbing through thick blue fabric as if it weren't even there.

_My Oathstone._

He wasn't alone. There was _magic_. Supporting him. At its source was the small blonde trying to shield a cowering woman.

His _summoner._

_**HELP—Mother—protect—**_

He didn't need the prompting . Translucent talons curled around the unconscious humans. He held them close, away from the hungry flames—and broke free of the weakening wooden confines surrounding them—shooting up into the open sky.

A burning village unfolded before him—tiny candles spread out below. The boy's magic surged, filled with a desire to protect.

_My home!_

Kohaku echoed the thought with a silent roar, drawing on that torrent of magic to summon the storm.

x-x-x

Zeniba came to the edge of the pool—knowing in her heart it would be empty.

For the first time in years, the sun glittered above Foggy Bottom Swamp.

x-x-x

A/N: Just exploring Haku's backstory in Stepping Stones a little bit. He originally made the contract with Minerva shortly after his river was filled in, and served as the Guardian to a Cetra woman until her death, which led to the shattering of his Oathstone—aka materia. After that he made contact with Yubaba and the story of Spirited Away follows pretty much the same from there. This story begins with Cloud finding the shard when he was a child, and ends with Haku's summoning in chapter…17, I believe.

The flow of time is not the same between the spirit world and Gaea. Just fyi. The 8 years or so between Cloud finding the materia shard and the summoning were much longer for Haku.

If there are any further questions please leave a comment and I will do my best to answer them.


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